When Homeschooling Gets Hard – Ten Areas to Evaluate for Better Days

We all start homeschooling with a vision. We organize our homeschool space, set a schedule, choose the ideal curricula, and optimistically dive into our homeschool year. But somewhere along the way, we find that homeschooling gets hard.

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Are you struggling to get through your homeschool day? Wondering why you’re not making progress? Dealing with an uncooperative child? Weary of homeschooling?

Below is a list of ten areas to assess. Evaluate where you’re struggling, and hone in on why homeschooling might be hard. I’ve provided suggestions for change. With some reflection and adjustments, you’ll be on your way to more peaceful, productive, and joy-filled homeschool days!

Areas you may need to evaluate: 

1. Your Homeschool Space
2. Your Homeschool Routine
3. Your Homeschool Expectations
4. Your Time and Availability
5. Your Teaching Limitations
6. Your Child’s General Health
7. Your Child’s Academic Needs
8. Your Child’s Character Development
9. Your Child’s Spiritual Needs
10. Your Sanctification

1. Your Homeschool Space

Limiting Distractions

Is your homeschool space conducive to learning, or causing unnecessary frustration? Providing a workspace that is free from distractions can be a challenge. But we should limit distractions as much as possible. Many of us, as adults, would struggle to work in a noisy or busy place. Hence, the cubicle. Our kids don’t need to work behind a three-panel display board. But we should provide a space that encourages disciplined focus.

That means we remove items from the study area that compete for our kids’ attention. Siblings may need to work in different areas. Little ones may need to be kept busy in an adjacent room. Even dear dad, working from home, can be a distraction. My phone and laptop also vie for my attention.

When our school year started last fall, my girls would get dressed for the day with lots of “accessories.” They loved wearing their play jewelry. They often had treasures tucked in their pockets too. Their sleeping babies “needed” to lay by them as they completed their schoolwork. We quickly learned that the jewelry, toys, and babies fought for their attention. Those things are now put away during our school day.

If the kids are struggling to stay focused, one works in our schoolroom and the other at the kitchen table. We love that dad gets to work from home, but we delay conversations with him until lunchtime or after school. Schoolwork (and his job) are the priority.

As the teaching parent, I sometimes need to leave my phone and laptop in another part of the house. That helps me to focus on the school day. A ten-minute phone call is half of a spelling lesson. Fifteen minutes spent on social media is a missed handwriting assignment. Limiting my own distractions is as important as limiting my kids’ distractions.

Keeping Your Homeschool Space Organized

Keeping our school books and supplies organized also helps us to use our time wisely. I’m a stickler for getting the school day done. I don’t want to waste time looking for paper, pencils, books, or math manipulatives. As my ten-year-old says: “it’s satisfying” to have things organized. There’s a place for everything, and everything is in its place. While it takes some effort, it’s worth it!

If you’re on the struggle bus when it comes to keeping things organized, start with a bookshelf. Use it only for your current homeschool supplies. Anything else (books from last year, books for next year, and books you might use), should go elsewhere. Consider keeping a caddy on your bookshelf. Use it for holding pencils, expo markers, sticky notes, red pens, and anything else you use daily. We move ours to the kitchen table every morning and return it to the bookshelf every afternoon.

It’s also helpful to have a designated place for school papers (SO many school papers). We use a wall-mounted three-tier organizer. I have ours hidden on the wall next to our school bookshelf. With older children, it can be used to sort schoolwork. With younger children, just getting papers into the organizer is a win. When we can’t fit any more paper in there, it’s time to purge.

A bookshelf can help keep your homeschool supplies organized and accessible. A file organizer provides a designated place for all the schoolwork. Both are tools to keep your homeschool day running smoothly.

How functional is your homeschool space? Free from distractions? Organized?

2. Your Homeschool Routine

I think routines give us superpowers – as homeschool parents. If this is what we always do, then – this is what we always do. There’s little room for argument. The routine should feel like clockwork. Everyone knows what to expect. If we skipped math yesterday, my children will wonder why they need to do it today. But if we do math every day, then we do math every day.

Academic progress comes from consistent instruction, practice, and review. If we’re teaching our children to read, we can’t go days or weeks without working on it. Our efforts will be hindered, and that will lead to frustration. If we want our children to make good, steady progress, we need to be consistent.

Routines are critical to homeschool success. Yes, we need to be flexible, and our kids must adapt to changes without complaining. But we also need to guard and prioritize our school time. With this in mind, I schedule appointments for after school as much as possible. Routine checkups are ideally scheduled for summer or other school breaks. We have to protect the routine that supports our academic efforts. If you haven’t used a routine, implement one and tap into your superpowers!

How effective is your homeschool routine? Is it consistent?

3. Your Homeschool Expectations

Prioritizing Academics

Every August, I work hard to put together our homeschool schedule. I use an Excel spreadsheet to schedule time for each subject we’ll be covering. Then I add when we’ll be away from home for extra-curricular activities. The spreadsheet also includes time for lunch, recess, and AWANA verse memorization. There are some years when piano practice is plugged into our school day too. (A schedule can help significantly when homeschooling is hard!)

Putting it all together can be a challenge. We live in a metropolitan area with plenty of activities. There is homeschool 4-H, choir, tumbling, soccer, softball, football, and more. We can join a co-op or support group. I have found that it’s best to add our at-home activities to the schedule first. That keeps our academic studies a priority. Then, I add the extra-curricular activities where our schedule allows.

The “flexibility of homeschooling” can be somewhat misleading. There is great freedom in what we study, and how we do it; but we still need to make academics a priority. It can be tempting to schedule our homeschool days with too many commitments away from home. Then we struggle to get through the schoolwork, which leads to frustration.

For public school students, supplemental activities are conveniently located on the school campus. Homeschool families, on the other hand, might spend significant time driving to activities. We need to be realistic about that commitment. It’s important to consider how each activity will impact our school days – so we can find a good balance.

Balancing Extra-curricular Activities

There is great value in finding a homeschool community. It may take some trial and error to figure out which groups or activities are a good fit. It’s a process that can take some time. Consider your academic schedule first, and then add the extra-curriculars that are worthwhile.

Last summer I found both homeschool art and Spanish classes offered locally. They were scheduled back-to-back and (hip-hip-hooray!) both of my girls were the right age to attend. The classes looked awesome. However, the one-hour (round) trip drive meant losing a whole afternoon of school. We were already committed to attending a homeschool choir on Friday afternoons. And on Thursday afternoons, we finished school an hour early for piano lessons. We also had occasional playdates, field trips, and holiday parties. We couldn’t do it all and still make good academic progress. The art and Spanish classes didn’t make the cut. Maybe next year.

I try to be involved in enough activities to keep us encouraged (especially during the winter). We’re usually home for full school days on Mondays, Tuesdays, and Wednesdays. Our Thursday and Friday afternoons offer time for extras. It takes a concerted effort to limit outside activities. But our school year runs more smoothly when I guard our time at home. I’ve had to learn to say “no” to that voice that says we need to do it all.

Consider putting together your academic schedule first. Then see where there’s room for extra-curriculars. Be sure they add value to your homeschool journey.

Are your extra-curricular activities limited so you have adequate time for academics? Have you found a good balance?

4. Your Time and Availability

In my early years of homeschooling, some folks in my church assumed I had more time for ministry because I was “home.” They didn’t recognize I had a job to do – the same as the mom working outside the home. There is some flexibility in our homeschool days. However, we need to say “yes” to what the Lord has called us to, and “no” to the rest. Consider your outside commitments prayerfully. Then joyfully serve in the areas God has called you to.

Homeschooling gets the best hours of my day. After that, I have time to pursue other things. It can be hard to say “no” to good opportunities. I have to remind myself that homeschooling is my primary responsibility. It’s the priority for this season. We need to be careful not to short-change our kid’s education by struggling under the weight of other commitments.

Are you saying “yes” to outside commitments that make it hard to get through your school day?

5. Your Teaching Limitations

Teaching Multiple Children

God has not only limited our time but also our ability. Sometimes we’re doing all the teaching, but we aren’t doing it very well. (Eek, that’s hard to consider.)

There are unique challenges that come with teaching multiple children of various ages. There may need to be more training, or a more rigorous routine for your children. Or, your expectations may need to be adjusted. Maybe what you’re trying to accomplish isn’t realistic. Are you in a challenging season of life? Are you spread so thin you’re considering quitting? If your best efforts are failing, consider finding more support.

Participating in a program that offers some structure may help. A homeschool co-op, hybrid school, or other community can provide a homeschool framework. As with any group, there are pros and cons. The leadership will (likely) decide which curriculum to use. There may be personality conflicts (i.e. “drama”). And programs like these sometimes undermine a parent’s ability to homeschool independently. The right program, however, can help make homeschooling manageable. If you’re questioning your ability to homeschool, it’s something to prayerfully consider.

Teaching High School

Teaching high school-level coursework can be challenging. But you can homeschool through high school! It just looks different than homeschooling the younger grades. You don’t have to do it all. (I can teach chemistry, but not very well!) Outsourcing more high school classes would have been better for my kids, and taken the pressure off me.

Should you be outsourcing? Consider if your inabilities might hold your child back. If you’re in over your head with a particular subject, find someone else to teach it. We outsourced physics, and my son enjoyed learning from an enthusiastic instructor. It was relatively expensive, but well worth the cost for us.

Consider an online program such as those offered by Apologia or Shormann Math. They offer self-paced, as well as live classes. It’s usually cheaper to teach a subject yourself. But being ill-equipped can quickly lead to frustration for you and your child. Homeschooling is hard enough without that added strain on your relationship.

Are you able to meet the academic needs of your children? Would it be wise to find some support?

6. Your Child’s General Health

We know our kids need regular exercise, a healthy diet, and a consistent sleep routine. Most parents are also aware that screen time needs to be limited to safeguard our kids’ mental health. Homeschooling generally supports a healthy and more restful lifestyle. Sometimes, however, our best intentions morph into unhealthy habits.

Exercise

Schedule exercise into your kids’ daily routine. Send them outside, even if it means you’re spending significant time bundling them up on winter days. They need the fresh air, and you need the quiet moments.

Diet

Don’t cave to your children’s food preferences. This can be hard because we don’t want to turn mealtime into a battle. But it’s worth the effort to insist on a healthy diet with a variety of foods. We must remember we’re encouraging good (or bad) eating habits for our children, who will someday be adults. We’re teaching them what healthy eating looks like.

Sleep

Are your kids following a good routine of sleep and wake times? If one of my kids is having a rough day, it’s almost always because they are tired. (If they got to bed late that’s my fault, not theirs!) Lack of sleep affects us all. We’re less focused and more irritable when we’re sleep-deprived. School is sometimes hard work. Prepare your children for this by prioritizing a consistent sleep routine.

Screen Time

Lastly, as you consider your child’s health, evaluate if he’s spending too much time in front of a screen. Limiting this helps protect your child’s mental health. It can be easy to give in when you’re working with one child and another child has nothing to do. Have a better plan for those moments. Even screen time spent on academic pursuits should be limited.

There needs to be more awareness of screen addiction. If you think you have a child or teen struggling with this, learn how it could be impacting them. It can have a monumental impact not only on their childhood but also on their adulthood. It needs to be taken seriously. ScreenStrong has some excellent free resources (including a podcast and a free 7-day challenge) to help you get started.

How is your child’s general health? Is he getting enough exercise, eating well and maintaining a consistent sleep routine? Is screen addiction a concern?

7. Your Child’s Academic Needs

Assessing Where Our Kids Are Academically

The first year of homeschooling has a steep learning curve. That’s especially true if you’ve pulled a child out of public or private school. You haven’t had the advantage of figuring out how to homeschool while they were little. Give yourself grace.

Academic struggles can cause angst for both parents and kids. You might feel helpless if you’re doing your best, but your child is still floundering. A good first step is ensuring that their curriculum is at the right level. It’s okay to have a fourth-grade student using a second-grade book if that’s where they need to be. Using a fourth-grade book would simply be setting them up for failure. Check to see if your curriculum publisher has placement tests.

Also, hone in on what their learning deficiencies might be. Is your student struggling to get through math assignments? Have they missed some significant math concepts? Do they have math facts memorized? Are they struggling with reading? Do they know how to decode? Are they guessing at words? As you work with your kids, you’ll become aware of their strengths and weaknesses. This is the value of homeschooling and a tailored education.

Prior to being adopted, one of my children was struggling significantly in public school. She had an academic IEP and the progress was negligible. Catching up a student who has significant deficiencies is a lot of work. Be patient with your kids as you figure things out. You might get your student to grade level by simply being diligent, but it can be a long process. Remember that no one will exert as much time, energy, and focus on your child’s needs – as you will. Keep at it. If you can’t pinpoint the deficiencies, get help. Speak to your pediatrician or consider an assessment at a learning center.

Dyslexia Concerns

As a side note, I have talked to many parents who are wondering if their child might have dyslexia. If you have concerns, consider the resources by SPED Homeschool. I’d also suggest speaking with your pediatrician, who can help consider testing. A child’s ability to read has such a tremendous impact on their education. Special needs need careful consideration.

Is homeschooling hard because your student is struggling academically? Are there specific areas where more help is needed?

8. Your Child’s Character Development: Lack of Motivation

Sometimes our homeschool days are difficult because our children are not motivated. Learning can be hard work. We aren’t naturally inclined to do hard things. I would rather sleep in, relax, and spend my day doing the things I enjoy. We must consider the ant in Proverbs (chapter six), and insist that our children work diligently on their schoolwork.

Sometimes my child’s lack of motivation is subtle. The same sheet of math facts takes twenty minutes to finish one day, but only five minutes the next. I had to come up with a different strategy when positive encouragement wasn’t enough. If you’re in the same boat, ask yourself how quickly an assignment can be completed on a “good day.” That time – is the goal. Certainly, make adjustments if your child is struggling with a difficult concept. But set some clear expectations.

Let your student know how much time they have to complete their assignment. (I give a reminder about halfway through the allotted time.) When the timer goes off, the student moves to the next thing on their schedule. The unfinished work needs to be completed during the child’s “free time.”  That might be during their recess, over the lunch hour, or immediately after school. But there’s no “free time” until it’s done. It can be a little painful at first, but stick to your guns. You’re teaching your child a new habit, and that can take some time.

Are your homeschool days hard because your student lacks motivation? Do you need to develop some strategies to help him overcome this?

9. Your Child’s Spiritual Needs

Sometimes an uncooperative child is actually a scared child, or a sensitive child, or an anxious child. One of the blessings of homeschooling is the time we get to spend with our kids. We know them intimately – their fears, their tendencies, and their personalities. The Lord provides lots of opportunities for them to grow spiritually.

One of my children tends to feel anxious. She overthinks and gets worked up rather quickly. Those feelings “come out sideways,” and she ends up in trouble. I have to remind her of God’s sovereignty. That He is always with us. That He never leaves us nor forsakes us (Hebrews 13:5). I have to remind her of Truth, so she can rest in God’s promises and let Him carry her burdens.

As parents, it’s our responsibility to “tend the soil” so that our children are sensitive to the Holy Spirit. They must have a solid understanding of the Bible and the work of Jesus Christ as our Savior. (If you aren’t sure what that means, please read about Our Hope.) Teaching God’s Word needs to be a priority in our homes. Our family loves using the Answers Bible Curriculum to help us accomplish this.

Sometimes, our children have such significant needs that we need to ask others for help. If you’re concerned for your child or you find yourself walking on eggshells, reach out to someone. Ideally, you have a pastor or another church member who can help your family. We only have a short season to point our children to Christ. We need to embrace this opportunity to help them grow in their faith.

Are you considering your child’s needs in light of the Gospel? Are there opportunities to encourage spiritual growth?

10. Your Sanctification

Eek, this can be hard to consider. Sometimes, homeschooling is hard because the Lord is working on us, and we need to be more like Him. For many of us, our child’s sin can easily lead us to sin. Our impulse is to respond in anger when our child is being defiant.

For a believer, parenting prompts us to become more sanctified. Add homeschooling to the mix, and it can feel like sanctification “to the nth degree.” Nurturing our personal walk with the Lord is the best thing we can do for our kids. And we’re commanded to be growing. We (adults) are told in 1 Peter to be “obedient children.” That ought to give us pause, as we communicate that expectation to our kids. We need to lead the way. Personal spiritual growth should be a priority.

Is homeschooling hard because you’re struggling spiritually? Let this season of homeschooling be a season of growing in your faith.

“And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.”

Romans 8:28

In this post, I share a few resources that I hope can be an encouragement – in your downtime, devotional time, or Bible study.

I often tell my kids to “grow where you’ve been planted.” It’s a good reminder for me too.  Homeschooling has unique challenges, but it also offers unique opportunities. There will be hard days. We need to do our best to learn and grow through them. I hope consideration of these ten areas helps you to find more peaceful, productive, and joy-filled days!